This is the time of the year when the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra will perform again for free tomorrow night, 9 p.m. at the Schloss Schönbrunn in the 13th District, exactly in front of the majestic Neptune Fountain. This is going to be an open-air event where everyone doesn’t need to reserve tickets just to see the famous Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra.

If you don’t mind the crowd and standing up, it could be a feast just listening to Austria’s one of “best-known musical institutions.”

Georges Prêtre, who conducted the New Year’s Concert 2008, will be conducting the orchestra tomorrow. It is broadcast to over 50 countries world-wide via the ORF. Well, well, well…

According to the website, in case of bad weather an alternate date will be on Wednesday, June 5, same time, same place.

Unsinn…

That’s what I heard from any native I talked to after telling them that Ziegelöfengasse in the Fifth District would soon be Falcogasse. It is not definite yet. And I doubt that it will ever happen. I am not sure if the signatures plus the list of prominent people who spoke out to have a Falcogasse would be granted. Take the former mayor of Vienna Helmut Zilk for example. Initiated by Alex Nausner of the 88.6 radio station, he and the supporters think that Falcostiege is not enough to pay an hommage to Austria’s first-ever successful pop musician.

Falco was successful, talented, and just like every artist who got trapped due to a mix of fame/self-doubt/bad friends/money ended deadly.

They said he was a music genius, a Wunderkind like his family, friends, colleagues and fans declared. Maybe he was also one of the “great” musicians Austria has ever had. So why not a street to remember him. But is it really worth it to rename Ziegelöfengasse (since 1862, it was Piaristengasse as the private Catholic school Piaristen is located there, renamed due to a once-standing brick kiln, Ziegelöfen in German) Falcogasse?

What do you think?

Yay or Nay?

Every tourist coming to Vienna will visit the Schönbrunn castle. Just because you have to. There are many attractions there: the grand castle, the coach museum, the park, the zoo, the gloriette and what else. But I think the main attractions seem to be: squirrels.

Carrie Bradshaw called them “rats with nice fur coats”, but obviously tourists seem to be of the opposite view. Everywhere they are kneeling down, holding out hands, making strange sucking, smooching and slupring noises to attract them. Regulars feed them with nuts and have their special places. Kids are screaming “Mummy where!? Mummy where!?” and mummys are screaming back “over there, look, over there.” Other mothers scream: “Don’t go near or they’ll bite you! You’ll get rabies!” Depending on protectiveness, I think. One of them said: “I don’t like squirrels, one of them chewed my finger to the bone.” What? I also overheard a girl say to her boyfriend: “see, there is one. I am not fantasizing as you said.” But that opens up a whole different set of questions, I don’t want to go into right now.

Why are those little bastards so popular? I say because of their black little round eyes and cuty furry appearance. Also the sudden and unexpected contact to nature is a wonderful thing for city tourists. Or they’ll look at anything that is to look at for free.

Anyway, if you come to Vienna: go see Schönbrunn, visit the squirrels, don’t forget to bring some nuts.

If you, like me, don’t like crowded places, then you might want to avoid Rathausplatz this Saturday. If you, like me, don’t like ritualised mass-happines and bigot excuses for staging a big party, then you might want to leave the city for the weekend. Like me.

Anyway, you might like a free concert and a lot of people like rock festivals (otherwise why would there be so many?) and you might be a fan of Madonna, James Blunt, Beastie Boys, Police, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins and a few thousand others, so you probably want to check it out. Jeez, Michael Nyman and Silbermond on the same stage… Live Earth is being staged this Saturday in every major city of the world and on the Rathausplatz in Vienna there will be a super mega big screen for people to watch. And a hundred snack-counters and the next day a brigade of trashmen to pick up the litter.

Do you remember when people used to talk shit about Sting because he wanted to save the rainforest? How credible are people like Snoop Dogg, Madonna or The Pussycatdolls in regards of ecology? The city of Vienna will offer information on how to save the planet. The gastronomy will offer ways to get loaded. Wonder where more people will be cueing? Is U2 not joinging because the payment wasn’t good enough? The stars will arrive by private jets and limousines, why do they tell you to use public transport? Is Live Earth a bad thing now? No, I don’t think so. But the amount of bigotry and self-rightousness is nauseating.

A good place to start getting more info might be the webservice of the city: Wiener Klimaschutztag

Vienna isn’t complete without Stephansdom. Or, much better, Vienna is not Vienna without Stephansdom. It serves its legions of faithful followers for more than 800 years. Though I am not religious, it is my most favourite spot in Vienna.

The tourists are fond of it too. They never miss a single Vienna itinerary without spending hours taking snapshots of the building, pondering at the odd pictograms, weird statues, strange symbolisms and monuments, dissecting the architecture, adoring the height of the towers, listening to the Pummerin toll each hour.

Although the whole nation boasts 73.6 percent of Roman Catholics, the Viennese slowly begin to lose interest in the religion. But not so with their beloved cathedral that imbues beauty, history and superstitious beliefs at the same time. For the Viennese every time they lay their eyes on the cathedral it exudes pride and reminds them of their ancestors’ rich legacy. Stephansdom is a living proof that the Austrians aim for the best, always reaching for the impossible. And the beauty of Stephansdom is breathtaking. No wonder people then believed that constructing this gigantic building would be impossible without the help of some magical powers.

So do you know what’s up behind the tortured face of the Jesus monument outside of the Old Steven? How about the towers?

The first time I heard of Our Lord of the Toothache I laughed my heart out. The Zahnwehherrgott is the half Jesus statue on the pedestal fronting the Club Stephansdom, next to the flowershop.

According to the legend, the statue used to stand in the cemetery surrounding the cathedral and the people liked to decorate it with wreathes of flowers. One day, an old woman didn’t notice that the wreath slipped a bit to one side and the whole thing looked a bit funny.

One night three men, drunk and in a merry mood, passed by the statue. One of them remarked that Jesus had a toothache. He and his friends burst out laughing disturbing the neighborhood while the men continued to walk home. As they prepared to go to bed the three had a hard time sleeping. Yes, you guessed it right! A severe toothache that knew no remedy tortured the three hapless souls. One of the men couldn’t take it anymore went to the barber (I didn’t know that barbers then did the dentist job!) and demanded that his teeth be removed due to an unbelievable pain.

The barber didn’t find anything wrong with the man’s teeth. It just dawned on his patient that he did something blasphemous. So he ran as fast as he could to the cemetery and threw himself in front of the statue begging for forgiveness. When the pain started to fade away he found out that his comrades were kneeling beside him too obviously for the same reason. Thus, they repented and went home ashamed telling themselves that they wouldn’t do it again.
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