visit a random western european city, and wherever you go, you’ll find people forming waiting lines - in the supermarket, at the subway, in front of a museum, wherever. not all folks do this with as much passion as, say, those in london, but still, people in general seem to understand that a waiting line is not some sort of conformist doctrine enforced on their lives, but the best way to solve situations where many people want to do the same thing.

not in vienna.

no matter if it’s the subway, some escalator in a larger shop or a cinema, the viennese tend to form blobs, like sand you throw into a funnel. not only is this the perfect climate for pickpockets, and a great nutrient for aggression and low-level violence amongst otherwise peaceful citizens, it also takes friggin lot more time for everyone to get where they want.

yes, people seem to be learning. i can remember when i was a kid, trying to get a burger at mcdonalds was more like hunting and gathering than consumerism. nowadays, people already learned the concept of the weak line, where you move forward in an almost steady pace, while constantly looking left and right for a free spot between other people you might occupy. it’s the social equivalent of attaching a sharpened stone to a stick instead of using it on its’ own, but still.

of course, senior citizens are exempt from all rules of waiting, or at least they think they do. actually, it seems like retired people only live on to make my life miserable, never hesitating to tell me how “in their youth, all was better” and how my generation is nothing more than “a bunch of slobs and thugs”. they also try to cut lines at the supermarket, and i had to resort to threats of physical violence more than once to put them into their place.

just yesterday, i was leaving my flat with two large bags of trash (spring cleaning, yay yay) under each arm, and as i was just done throwing them into the trash can and headed back, some old fart with a german shepherd dog yapped at me how my generation creates too much waste, and we should respect our elders better and how we have no manners and what not. the funny thing is, he didn’t even have enough decency to look at me while telling me all this shit. i told him to get a job and went on.

it’s kind of sad that my tax money is used to support those suckers. but, oh well. i read in a book once that, over the hills and far away, there exist friendly, kind old people who tell bedtime stories to their grandchildren and bake cookies all day. perhaps some day i’ll actually meet some of them, riding on unicorns, flanked by pixies and cute little dragons.