The Vienna Opera Ball is tomorrow evening. It is the 50th ball since re-opening after the WW2 and in all its glory and glitter will once again carry the picture of Vienna as the most wonderful and romantic city over the world, where peace and harmony reigns in the forever perfect melodies of the waltz and opera arias.

And, as every year, I won’t be there nor will I watch the live-broadcast on tv. Probably because tickets are 215 € upwards, which is not counting the formal evening dress necessary and extra costs for tables, seating and food (a pair of frankfurter aka wiener goes for a measly 7 €). Probably because I don’t dance unless I am drunk.

I didn’t believe it, when a friend of mine told me about it, but today there was an announcement on the subway that corroborates the story: there are people selling faked tickets for public transport in Vienna. All kinds of them, obviously.

Being caught with a faked ticket bought from a peddler in a station somewhere is probably worse than being caught “blackriding” (that’s Germglish for riding without a ticket) because you’d be involved in some fraud scam. Moreover you have to pay for the fake ticket as well.

So if you have to insist on having everybody else pay for the public transport you use, then I’d advise you to not pay at all because the cost/risk-analysis is better.

Follow up from my chat with above friend: No, just because even people who don’t use public transport have to pay for it via taxes, doesn’t mean it is fair for you to use it and not pay for the ticket. That is skewed morals. There are several arguments I heard, but this one is wrong.

To the bitchfaced lady on the bus:

If you stand where the strollers go, and don’t move to make room for a mother and her daughter in a stroller, and then roll your eyes and feign injury when you get your foot rolled over, I have but one message for you: fuck off!

Kind regards,
Scott

Is this not the prototypical Vienna transit story?

I have no idea what makes everyone so damned grumpy. It’s a beautiful city. The weather has been nice. You couldn’t really have an easier urban life presented to you. And yet, you can do nothing but scowl and bitch.

Congratulations! You’ve made me one of you!

(please read this post with the proper sarcastic tone and wink. I’m not really dissin’)

To anybody out there renting their flat from a professional landlord, ie. a company, it will be good news to hear that the OGH (uppermost court of Austria) has ruled to your advantage in case of a few crucial points:

- repairwork to retain the quality of the flat has to be paid for by the landlord (ie. locks in the front doors, the warm water heater (Therme), etc.)
- work in the public parts of the building cannot be counted into the “Betriebskosten” (that part of the rent that goes to heating, water, trash, etc.)
- unless you ran down the flat by a severe degree, it is not necessary anymore to paint the flat before leaving
- if gas or electricy is cut off for a while, you can lower the rent you have to pay
- you don’t have to let the landlord enter your flat unless there is a crucial reason

All of these have been part of renting-contracts. You can even sue your landlord for money back as far as 30 years. But get some advice by official places before (e.g. the Arbeiterkammer, the lawyer of your trust or one of your friends, who has studied law for a year but then decided to become a full time DJ. Maybe better focus on the first two.)

Some people say, that now the landlords will raise the rent to accomodate for the increase of costs they might have.

It seems as if at the moment everybody is kicking at beating at our very own Baumeister Richard Lugner. Because he wants to invite Paris Hilton to the Opernball (and asking if she will wear underwear or not), because he allows a medical clinic also doing abortions in one of his buildings adjoining his Lugner City shopping center, because he is on TV in a docu-soap about himself and his family, because he is a akward in society but loves to join the crowds and is a magnet for society reporters, because he drops a clanger at every possibility that opens up.

That’s all true, but Lugner is also a very friendly, original person and one of the unique figures that make live in Vienna so interesting. He never harmed anyone (okay, so leaving his first wife after an unlucky beauty-op wasn’t that nice…) more than himself. All he managed to achieve he did by himself and his constant appearing on the society pages might annoy you, but it is his own way of marketing himself. He is the closest thing to Donald Trump this city has to offer.

After all, who are we left with if Richie decides to leave? Alfons Haider? HC Strache? So, the next time you see him around, wave him a smile and he’ll be sure to wave back and say hello.

Here is a bit of advice for all of you, I just learned that yesterday:

If you are in a subway station and an old man with a twitching eye and a young woman with dirty hair start to quarrel about who gets into the train first, who pushed who and who is what and what not, don’t try to calm the situation with a “be peaceful, people, there is enough place inside the train for all of us”.

Because they will combine forces and turn on you together. And then things can get awful quite quickly. And nobody will help you out.

Computer services and system administration… trust the tapir!

Location: Spittelberg

My good friend Andreas “Krach” Stoiber presents his first theatre play tonight at dietheater/Konzerthaus.

Don’t miss it.

(Sorry, German only.)

JESUS FREUD SUPERSTAR
Livetherapie mit Vernissage
von Andreas Stoiber
mit Andreas Stoiber, Marie Bendl, Markus Hofbauer

Erleben Sie Frau Professor Martina Goldkatz in einer vergnüglichen Showanalyse, wie sie den aufstrebenden St.Pöltener Medienkünstler Hans H. aus einer tiefen Sinnkrise holt.

>> Letzter Nachholtermin in diesem Semester: heute!!

Beginn 20.30 Uhr.

dietheater, Konzerthaus

Lothringer Straße 20

A-1030 Wien.

Eintritt: pay as you can

Im Anschluss Häppchen und stimmungsvolle Musik.