Since weeks you get haunted by hearts, more hearts, flowers, candycandy, and guess what, yes hearts. Today is Valentine’s Day. The most stupid day ever.
Irritated and confused men try to figure out the boob size of their girlfriends, working on finding a good perfume and get poisoned after trying out 10 perfumes within 5 minutes, giggly girls in dvd stores, and generally every radio plays love songs. The only reason this day exists, is due the power of the flower mafia.
Guess what, not every girl likes this day. I do not like it. Even though my Monsieur is eager to find a good present for me, i am more than happy if i can ignore this tralalala about this obvious retarded tradition. Flowers are more expensive today, they will be rotten away just as fast as usual, and i am not keen on getting presents i didnt ask for.
Today i witnessed a wonderful conversation between two girls in the U6 subway:
“So, what are you getting for V-day?”
“Well, i told him i want a nice ring.”
“oh my god, did you tell him exactly what ring you want?”
“Yes, but i bet he is too stupid to buy the right one. In case he doesnt, i will just return it the next day.”
“Men are so retarded.”
“Oh yeah. Last year he bought me roses. ROSES! how fucking boring is that?”
“Lucky you, i only got a card.”
I pity men. I really do. How frustrating is it to buy exactly the ring she told him about? Is she going to be all “oh, i didnt expect you to buy me a ring! how sweet of you!” when he is tired and totally mindfucked after spending hours for buying said ring? What a great suprise.
That being said, lets all be proud and say “Awwwwwwwwwww” together:
BRAD PITT AND THAT ANGELINA JOLIE CHICK HAVE BEEN IN VIENNA!
AND THEY ATE THE HOTEL IMERPIAL!
oh my gosh!
I can now die happily!
I hate the Standard Newspaper today.