How to find the Vienna Metblog in the most improbable way
Among most of my blogging friends, a tradition has emerged: Each time we meet, we tell each other the strangest keywords and phrases used on search engines to find us. Word combinations that simply make no sense, phrases you’d never associate with your weblog, and so on. During our Metblog Birthday Party, I read some of the weirdest keywords used to find our Metroblog to the guests, which resulted in tons of laughter and three people urging me to put them online. So, for your personal pleasure, here’s my best of search engine keywords for the last year:
- titten
- jesus face with i didnt say it would be easy but i said it would be worth it
- cocaine dealer with there email address
- jorg haider naked photos
- horse defecation
- shower in the kitchen
- what does the average person look like naked
- how to bild ninja supplies
- email adress farmers june 2005
- dog bakeries
The German word for “tits”, this is our number 1 search phrase, which is kind of weird, considering the word was used only once here, and that was almost a year ago. Further down the list you find all kinds of variations, like big tits, japanese hardcore tits, surgery tits or mega boobs.
I have no idea what amount of crack you have to smoke to come up with something like that. I can only assume it’s part of a song, or maybe some religious stuff. Me like horsies.
“Dear Mr. Dealer, I got your email address from www.edrug.com. I’d like to order tons and tons of cocaine for my upcoming graduation party. Could you perhaps deliver it already spread out on the asses of naked supermodels? Thanks!”
Uaaargh. Please, make it stop! MAKE IT STOP! For those who don’t know him, Mr. Haider is a local far-right populist. He was rather successful with the FPÖ at the beginning of the century, but is now becoming more and more insignificant, finally.
I shudder at the thought of what the searcher wanted to find.
Actually, dude, that’s not a good idea, for the very same reason that an oven in the toilet doesn’t make all that much sense. But whatever floats your boat.
Move to China. Walk into the next convenience store and ask for Ninja supplies. Get kicked out for being in the wrong country, dork. Move to Japan. Try again. Get arrested for trying to buy illegal weapons. Spend 15 years in jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect 200 Euros.
Farmers have Email addresses? Consider me impressed. Next thing you know, they’ll stop being such helpless, whining pussies.
Oh, hey, Ninja Guy, while you’re fooling around in China, could you please send me a few tons of frozen dog meat? I kind of got a business idea…
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lol
excellent!
horse defecation - u think that other cities have problems with “poo bags” aswell and just wonder how other cities manage it?
Jim Smith reminded us of the problem with police horse defecation and urination.
http://grvnc.org/NewSite/Board/AgendaBoard2004/Minutes_Board_26jan04.htm
thanks phillip, really excellent!
After reading this I thought it’d be a great idea to do this for Bangkok too, but we seem to get all of the really obvious sexually depraved ones, that at least don’t involve animals (thank buddha for small mercies! Although, I didn’t read all of them) :)