Archive for March, 2005

In Memoriam EKH

Sorry, I’m far too tired and way to busy to translate this announcement by the EKH people to English, but to summarize it: it’s really sad that the KP

Chick Gospel – The Second

Remember the entry written by Mr. Johannes about that Jack Chick Gospel dude?

i already forgot it, i admit it, until i was standing in the billa supermarket trying to get as much of the bought stuff as possible into my little bag.
Until, yes i am making it dramatic, until i found this next to me:

gospel.jpg

first i thought its one of those “are you single too?” things you find everywhere. When i opened it, that little creepy booklet, i wasnt sure wether or not its the hardcore version of some really bad ass sexual frustrated whatever perverts, or just something more creepy.

gospel2.jpg

yummy.
really yummy indeed.

and so… uhm…. “god loves you”-like.

the schutzzonen – if it doesn’t work, spread it

we covered vienna’s first “schutzzone” at the karlsplatz before. the idea was to keep the resident junkies away from the kids who go to school there. not a bad idea, except that there never was a real problem to begin with. when I was a teen, i often wasted time in the subway area there, and no one ever bothered me – i don’t want to say that there’s no annoyances, i once (for the first and last time) tried to use the public restrooms there, but failed because one of the “kids of the karlsplatz” was bleeding all over the toilets, but no one even talked to me, let alone tried to sell me anything. the whole deal probably went down because the parents of said kids were frightened and/or offended – i should mention that the school in question is a protestant private school, visited by the children of middle-middle class philistines.

in the 6 weeks of the zone, there were 25 send-offs and 9 violations of said send-offs – 8 of them by the same guy, who now faces charges of either 2880 € or 4 months in jail. did the whole thing clean up the area? you bet it didn’t. the complete junkie/homeless “scene” is now located at the telephone booths approximately 2 meters behind the safe zone. big deal.

but instead of seeing that this is maybe not the best way to solve the whole situation, we get another safe zone, this time the high school diefenbachgasse and the surrounding area, including the subway station längenfeldgasse. the zone is running monday to friday from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. and is planned to run till june 30th.

so, what’s next then? making vienna a safe zone, and forcing everyone with a drug problem or without a home to relocate to lower austria? why not make the whole continent a safe zone and throw those people into the ocean, while we are at it?

by the way, the facts of this rant were borrowed from this article at the kurier, which also kindly reminds us that “the (heroine and cocaine) dealers (around the längenfeldgasse area) are mostly colored people which ignored the police presence so far.”

so, to whoever made this fantastic observation:

if you can judge a wise man
by the color of his skin
then mister you’re a better man than i

(aerosmithliving on the edge)

Zentralfriedhof // Some photographic impressions

The Zentralfriedhof (Central Cemetary) is the largest and most famous cemetery among Vienna’s nearly 50 cemeteries. Opened in 1874, this enormous cemetery spans 2.4 square kilometers. It is one of the largest cemeteries in Europe. 3.3 million people have been buried here during the last 128 years. In keeping with the Viennese affinity for stylish burials, the cemetery contains a wide range of funerary monuments varying from the simple to the extravagant. The Zentralfriedhof has a special section (the so called Ehrengr

Camp Wellness, today!

Once again, Vienna’s highly recommended sitting-around clubbing…

Liebe Userinnen und User,

diesmal kurz wie nie zuvor:
Am Samstag, dem kommenden 26. M

Quintessenz presents ‘PIS – Public Intelligence Service’

After the so called NSA-Hack, which was in fact investigative journalism supported by text and data mining, quintessenz presents the next step:

An evolution to an art project in cooperation with David Bovill (artist in residence at the MQ Vienna) which will be launched on April 1st at the Electric Avenue, MQ Vienna, 19:00.

http://www.quintessenz.at/datamining_the_nsa/
http://www.quintessenz.at/pis/

water-edu.jpg

*PIS – Public Intelligence Service*
Out of the fire of corruption, greed and intrigue we bring forth a panacea, a balm for our future generations. No longer need anyone feel helpless in the face of power or corruption on a massive scale, we have created a first generation remedy. A social machine for the resistance of disinformation and the creation of positive projects. Sustainably financed in order to avoid the possibility of external corruption, the Public Intelligence Service has been set up to monitor those that watch – us.

*PI – The Source*
Our services aim to be pragmatic, simple and effective. Our first suite of products are based on the archive currently being researched by the quintessenz “Datamining the NSA” (1) project. We have taken this archive and created out of it a number of products, the first of which are launched today. Future projects aim to take similarly disfunctional media debates, processing these with the aim of deriving constructive social outcomes.

*PM – Public Media Machine*
Building on the research and analysis of the datamining tools used by
companies and intelligence services worldwide, we have started an open source project to create the world’s most advanced distributed media machine. The purpose of this publically owned shared computational resource is to connect securely and efficiently news sources with factual information and opinion leaders such as journalists, politicians and strategically selected online resources. This high-tech project is to be built following the same principles and success of Wikipedia – gathering intelligence sources from
open sources and using software and social filtering to establish the highest levels of quality control available. PIS aims to finance this project through the worlwide sucess of its first commercial product – PI (secret water).

*Pi – Secret Water*
PI is both a fragrence and a homeopathic remedy for stupidity and corruption of all kinds. Working with artists in Vienna, we have created a machine, a unique purification system to first distill and then detoxify (render harmless) all forms of secrets – official, commercial and personal. Bottled and manufactured at the MQ in Vienna, and using the latest and most advanced open source technology, we have developed the worlds first working prototype
for homeopathic knowledge transfer.

We have taken 10,000 emails and 2 gigabytes of additional technical
documentations from the ‘Datamining the NSA’ project (which for obvious reasons we are not allowed to publish), encrypted it to protect the identity and personal information of the people involved, shredded it irreversibly using advanced algorithms and electromagnetically transfered this information to pure Austrian spring water.

This product can be used, as indicated on the instructions, for a variety of purposes – whether treating institutions or places of work, or for personal use. While not guaranteed to enhance your personal intelligence, purchasing a sample of PI – Secret water online or at the new headquaters of the Public Intelligence Service at MQ in Vienna, is guaranteed to make a useful contribution to the public intelligence of our planet. Each bottle of PI – Secret Water comes complete with the latest results from the “Datamining the
NSA” project, and a unique private certificate giving you secure access to www.qPIS.org, services and partner sites. This certificate is a new free service from the Public Intelligence Service launched today – Public Intelligence Authentication.

*PIA – Public Intelligence Authentication*
Cryptography is important for privacy. Secure open source cryptography tools have been available for a number of years, however there has been no widespread adoption of these tools by the ordinary internet user. This is about to change. The Public Intelligence Service is launching today a freely available open certification authority. This service allows groups and individuals to communicate and collaborate securely, and in confidence. Prior to today users have had to pay heavy fees to take advantage of the sort of technology that companies, and international agencies take for granted. This technology is the basis of secure communication, financial transactions, and voting on the Internet. It is the technical foundation for any reasonable form of public intelligence. Certificates can be obtained and verified from the following domains Ishouldtrustthissecret.com and Ishouldnottrustthissecret.com.

*Mission Statement of the Public Intelligence Service*
The aim of the Public Intelligence Service is to create a publically owned shared intelligence resource for the open society. We are inviting projects, individuals and agencies to contribute to the creation of this shared resource. There have been a number of projects that have emerged spontaneously and independently around the globe with similar aspirations. The time and general climate is right for such an initiative. We are inviting partners from anywhere in the world to join and invest time and resources in this project. We offer a safe haven for whistle blowers, secrets and the development of strategic initiatives on behalf of the open society.

We offer and develop real services and products, directed by our partners, within the terms of our member agreement as detailed openly on our web site. The Public Intelligence Service is registered as a Limited Liability company under UK law. Membership is free and open to any individual or organisation that subscribes to the member agreement and mission statement.

q/research – biometric team

Vienna is the capital of gastro-art!

I think I already blogged about our “Gastrokunst” (gastro art) project. In gastronomical enterprises the management frequently elects to present art as a form of extraordinary room decoration. We decided to motivate people around the world to take pictures of breathtaking ‘gastro-artworks’.
And Vienna seems to be the captial of (strange) gastro-art, I tell ya!

A brand new example:

gastro-porn.jpg

(
Porn gastro art at Caf

asylgesetz neu

ein asylgesetz zu machen geh

A Viennese (Meat Lovers) Icon

There is plenty of butchers in Vienna. Viennese people love meat. And butchers (seem to) love funny (and dirty) chalkboards like this one.

viennese-icon.jpg

[Location: 2nd district, next to Gasthaus Wild
Translation:
We sell primordial Himalaya salt
smoked Easter blah blah
meat blah meat blah
]

There seems to be only one design. I know at least 5 butchers using the same chubby cartoon character. Like a non-franchise franchise chain.

vienna became istanbul became vienna became carinthia.

strache here, strache there, strache everywhere. it’s annyoing, i know, and i really feel bad writing about the little trouble maker again, but there’s been some nice developments in the whole thing.

first, someone started putting up counter-ads all over vienna, some boring and simple, some actually quite funny. this one to the right (“vienna must not become carinthia”) was found by some friends of mine near the U1 praterstern, and if you look around, you can find many more.

also, my colleague seyda ozturk, the captain of the istanbul metroblog, put up a nice little story there about the whole thing – and she comes to the conclusion that istanbul has now become vienna.

it’s kind of funny, i think – i talked with some physicists, and they all agreed that the chances of one city either changing places with or spontaneously morphing into another city are low enough to make heisenberg turn in his grave should such a thing ever take place. also, while there are phobias against pretty much everything in the known universe, i couldn’t find any hints on a previous fear of city morphing. this can only lead me to the conclusion that mister strache knows something about the laws of time and space that we don’t. scary thought, actually.

oh, and by the way, with what must have probably been the first city-switch in the history of mankind now completed, i think we should take the whole deal one step further:

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